My obituary

Posted in Personal News, San Francisco, SF Events at 11:30 pm by divinity

From the Streetwars Blog:

Kman (2) rocked it like a successful Elmer Fudd…homeboy found the rabbit hole, ordered some firehose equpment from ACME and letfly with some liquid death, wettifying himself one Rabbit (0).

6:30am is way to freaking early for an assassin who’s been drinking all night. But knowing my target’s a chump, I gambled I could probably just walk up to him and jizz him in the face… no need for anything elaborate. I did a quick drive-by of my target’s apartment the night before. His car was parked right outside his front door so he’s probably home with his girlfriend. The plan of attack was to get him in the morning as he leaves for work. After a quick coffee run to clear my head…and a quick bj from the Shanequa on Mission to clear my “other” head, I made my way to Ed’s hood. He lives near a major intersection with bus stops at all four corners. It was going to be very easy to blend in with all the bus riders waiting at the stops. 8:00am, the girlfriend exits the apartment building. I walked by her to do a quick visual check. That’s her so he must be close behind right? WRONG. Should have guessed he was a lazy bastard. Mind you, I’m a manly man but standing outside in the early morning for this long was so cold, it was making my bait’n tackle retrack inwards. If this guy doesn’t come out soon, I was going to have to resort to plan B…Operation “JuicyLucy”. Don’t ask me what this is…you’ll know it when it hits you. So after standing at the corner bus stop, counting numerous buses passed me by AND mistaken twice for a drug dealer, my target finally strolled out of his hole. 9:30am. Fucking took him long enough. The guy didn’t even seem cautious… didn’t act like he expects to be shot today. Sucka-foo! Today was his unlucky day. Took a sip of my whiskey laced coffee and faced his direction so I could get a clear shot. He had about 20 feet to go before he reached the bus stop. The guy had no chance. As he leisurely strolled towards me, I griped my trusty pistola hidden inside my coat. A visual check confirmed it was the target. Out comes the weapon… JIZZED like a dirty crack-ho. Rabbit is DEAD.

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